You’ve made the date with the adorable guy you met last week. Date’s at 8:00 and now the question of, what am I going to wear? Remember first impressions are the most important. And let’s face it, before he gets to know you, he’s going to see you and what he sees can make or break this budding connection faster than it started.

So, as you rummage through your wardrobe, keep a few things in mind:

Dress for the date

• Dress for the occasion! Nothing’s worse than showing up to casual date at his favorite burger places in 6in heels and sequined mini. It’s awkward. He’s going to be uncomfortable, you’re going to be uncomfortable and overall you’re going to look incredibly stupid. This isn’t just for the First Daters. If you’re going out with boyfriend/hubby or whomever and you’re not sure of the plans, ask.

KISS- Keep it Sexy and Simple

• You look amazing in this one-shoulder silk blouse with a 5in peacock feather broach; the blue really compliments your complexion. But leave it in the closet. Too trendy can be tragic. Most men don’t pay attention to the latest fashion trends and won’t appreciate your red carpet appearance. Keep it simple but sassy.

Save the low cuts for later

• I know you want to show off your assets and pump up the attraction factor but save it for another day. Men are rather simple minded. I’m pretty sure they spend 50% of the date trying to picture their date naked; you don’t want to cause any more loss of attention by having the girls out and about on the date. This is an important tip to follow if you’re going to dinner because the table will cut just at the upper half of your body, basically placing the goodies on a display table. Good luck with any convo at that point!

Don’t paint on your face

• Make up should not be worn as a mask. LESS IS BEST! Go for a natural look. A little bronzer, eye liner, mascara, neutral and soft eye shadow, and some attention to the lips is all you need. Guys don’t like a ton of makeup, it’s scary! I once knew a model that had to put on a photo shoot’s worth of makeup because her boyfriend had never seen her without it. YOU CAN’T LIVE YOUR LIFE LIKE THIS!!! It’s bizarre. Guys want to see you, minus the pony tricks. So save the ultimate MAC Collection for another night.

LBD

• 3 words. LITTLE. BLACK. DRESS. Coco Chanel 1920’s fashion is never out of style. So if you need something other than jeans, pull this one out. Accessorize and make it your own.

Be Comfy.

• Wear something you’re going to be comfortable in. You don’t want to spend the entire night tugging and adjusting to avoid nip slips and crack shows!

BE CONFIDENT!

Most importantly, wear confidence! No, it’s not a physical item but it’s important. Confidence is sexy, and nothing will turn him on more than seeing it exude from your pores. With the right kind of confidence, hell who needs clothes!

XOXO CoCo Rene

What are you’re first date staple items or do’s and dont’s?

Romeo and Juliet…

Tony and Maria (West Side Story)…

Jack and Rose (Titanic)…

Noah and Allie (The Notebook)

Jason and Sabrina (Jumping the Broom)…

Let’s just say the theme of forbidden love is pretty prevalent among the novels and films.

It doesn’t really matter what decade it is, or what sex is playing what role, the story line is pretty much based off the same recipe. 

Boy is poor, girl is rich. Boy meets girl. Girl and boy fall in love. One or both sets of parents disapprove of relationship and forbid it. The confrontation between sides, a grand gesture of love and VIOLA! Fortunate for our generation, our Romeo’s and Juliet’s have found other ways to work out these issues without killing themselves. 

I watch these movies curled up on my couch, blanket in hand, choking back tears and waiting for the Happily Ever After ending. Because, let’s face it, some hopeless romantic (or at least someone trying to make money off the suckers for love) wrote this movie and ended it with a wedding because that’s what “supposed to happen.” It has to! We work out our differences and love prevails.

__________________________________________________________

My family is rather close knit. And for those of you who share a similar close bond with your family, you know just how much their opinion matters. In the past, when my family doesn’t care for someone’s partner, you’d better hope you don’t mention too much turmoil or get into an argument that leads to one of those fake break ups because they’re going to tell you to drop the dead weight and move on. Advice is pretty much biased and they’ll probably tell you in some form “You can do better.” (which secretly translates to “I didn’t like them anyways.”) In my experience, its ALWAYS better to have a secret agent or player on the other team rooting for you.

I hadn’t thought of this until an issue arose with Winston, I and our families. I knew I’d heard this issue or had seen this happen and it hit me that I had just been cast in my own rendition of Jumping the Broom. Our families are different. Different ways of raising their children, different beliefs, morals, the whole nine. With us both being so close with our parents, the behind closed doors remarks made us question some things. We’ve decided to continue writing the script to reach that triumphant-love-happily-ever-after ending. 

So here’s what I want to know, how much do family and friends opinion weigh in your relationships?

As you may have realized by now, I’m a somewhat traditional, hopeless romantic. I was raised on Disney movies, chick flicks, and happily-ever-afters. And thanks to those sweet, yet highly unlikely, story lines, my beliefs and expectations sometimes reside way up there in the castle in the clouds.

One such belief, is that when you meet “The One,” there will be sparks. According to the over-influential media, sparks are supposed to fly and I should be watching the July 4th fireworks display when I kiss this person. Now I won’t say that this is entirely inaccurate. There have been a few men that have lit the fire and caused an overwhelming amount of butterflies to flutter around like kids in one of those jumpy things. I’d get nervous and all girly when I saw them. It was absolutely ridiculous. But the one thing I can say about this “spark” is that it wasn’t enough.

Why not? Because this “spark” is created and influenced by lust. You ever had a spark for someone you didn’t want to have sex with? If you have, congratulations. I can make a list of the guys I’ve ignited this spark for and trust me, they’d be on another list too. The bad part is when the sex is over and the lust — excuse me, spark— burns out, what do you have? Nothing.

What keeps relationships going are the flames. Flames established through the logs of comfort and trust and are stoked by honesty and laughter. These are the things that keep the “fire” alive. I’d take that over that spark. I’d rather have the feeling of comfort, than the feeling of anxiety (I’m pretty sure my spark was some form of anxiety lol).

Sparks can start a fire, but it’s the flames that keep it going.

I’ve been back in Chicago for about two months now. I’ve met two guys and have been on two dates. This dating shit is hard!!! lol I envisioned this dating thing to be a lot easier than this. It’s not the actual dating but the finding people to date!

With much reflection, I’ve realized that I spend entirely too much time in my house watching Criminal Minds and other crime dramas. And unless Shemar Moore is going to Blue’s Clues jump out of my television, I’m never going to meet any new people.

The problem is, I have no idea where to go. My parents don’t think meeting a guy while you’re out at a club is the best idea, and I’m starting to agree. Where do all the swanky young adults go where I can sip on a plush couch sipping martinis while listening to a live band and not feel awkward if I had to go alone? Probably no where. 

I’m going to learn how to golf and maybe go play some tennis, I see myself being some upitty country club girl in a few years so these are essential tools to my livelihood. I’m also going to…drum roll please…. TAKE PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION DOWNTOWN! I figure a few adventures downtown will be very beneficial. Along with learning to navigate the streets, I can mingle, develop new Starbucks faves, and possibly add to my wardrobe! 

Wish me luck!

So you spot a strapping young lad across the room and it’s lust at first sight. After your best attempt at a sexy smolder and giving him that “come hither” look he makes his away over to you. The two of you chat it up for a minute and you decide that he doesn’t seem like a creep so you exchange numbers. You guys chat it up a few times, send a couple of cute texts and now you’re going to go out. 

The first date goes well, he could still be the Craigslist Killer, but he’s funny and charming and you agree to go on a second date…

Upon preparing for this journey of mine I realized that I was a 22 year old that had never casually dated and the timing of sex wasn’t really a thought. The most obvious option for any woman dating would be to hop in the sack whenever you damn well please and give a big “Who gon’ check me boo?” shrug.

But to save face (and avoid looking like a “slut” to the rest of the world) women have written Woman Laws for such situations.

It started out as the 3 Date Rule, which most men agree is the appropriate amount of time. 3rd date is the sex-date. However, a lot of women have started to move towards the 3 Month Rule. Which I suppose gives you a bit more time to make sure this guy is worth the goods and isn’t psycho (He could still be the Craigslist Killer though, ladies =] ).

I’ve been having this debate with a couple of my friends for a while and I want to know what you think. 

So what are you? 3 Dates?  3 Months? or Who gives a damn? When I’m horny, I’m horny!

Take the poll!!!                            

http://poll.fm/33j4j

I love the occasional bowling outing with friends. It’s fun, I’m pretty good at it, and mix in a few Long Islands and we’re talking a great time. What makes this innocent fun a bit more on the road to risqué is the addition of a fine piece of man. Who doesn’t enjoy the frequent use of double entendres about balls?

Just me? Fine.

Anyways, I’m sure you’re curious to know where this is headed. Well we’re going right to a dimly lit parking lot of bowling alley and smack dab in the backseat of a car (every girls dream, right?) Admittedly before this rendezvous, the most that occurred in a car happened in the front seat and only made it as far as some intense finger action below the belt.

So after a few a spares, strikes, 7-10 splits, drinking and lot of flirting, the pins weren’t the only thing ready to split. A few frames later we said our goodbyes to the rest of the group departing the bowling alley and walked to the parking lot. We lingered at my car for a moment (I must say he’s definitely the best candidate for a make out session leaning against my car) and after some passionate lip locking in the frigid air, it didn’t take much to convince me to take things into his already warmed up automobile equipped with heated seats.

Not long after my butt reached the ideal temperature of pleasure and his lips and hands had done the deed of heating up the rest of my body we decided that it’d be best to take our foreplay on a mission to the more spacious (but not heated =[ ) backseat.

As I prepared to write this next part, I was tempted to insert “All of a sudden” or “One thing led to another” or something of equal interpretation but I’ve grown to realize that that’s just a cop out that people, I, tend to use when you don’t want to come off like you wanted it or to appear as though you’re the innocent party. #FAIL  I know full well what was going to happen.

Fully aware of the moments that were about to ensue, I began to embrace the thought that I would soon be taking a red pen to my “list.” YES!

Sex…

In the back seat

CHECK!

For a moment I contemplated if the desire to backseat mambo made me some kind of slut but then Ah Fuck it came to mind and any girl with that not on her list needs to seriously watch some more TV and grow up.

Leaning against the back door, I gazed into the ceiling (readying myself for the show and all) and noticed the 8.5 x11 taped to the window. New car. Score. I couldn’t help but feel like in some weird and totally unrelated to religious way that I was in some way “blessing” his backseat. I had a brief thrill knowing that I’d perhaps be the first to get it in on his new leather seats. In some disturbing-to-outsiders way, it was like the smell of sex would soon replace the “New Car Smell” (I love the smell of new leather).

The athletically built man was now positioned perfectly between my legs. I wont say that time stopped or slowed because we all know that it doesn’t but it allowed me just  enough time to take in his sculpted arms, adorned with ink that peaked out from his graphic tshirt. Dying to revisit the view of his chest, I didn’t hesitate to help him take his shirt off. BTW, that shit looks so much more effortless and sexy in the movies. In real life, mine at least, the shirt awkwardly gets stuck pulling it over my head…and I ALWAYS have moment when it hits my lip and makes the sound. Dork. 

Shirtless and a step from nakedness it was his turn to assist me.He undid the button on my pants and slid my skinnys off. (Thank you sex for keeping my mind off the cold leather under my ass) Exchanging below the belt tongue action obviously heated things up until the point where I couldn’t resist straddling the pantless masterpiece. Sooo I did. DUH.

Its amazing how far from my mind the illegalities of my backseat bump in the parking lot were from my mind. Actually, in the deep corner of my mind I kept thinking about the epic car sex scene in Titanic. Oh how I long to fog up the windows of a car and leave that memorable sliding hand print on the window. I’m pretty sure Titanic was probably the trigger to this fantasy.

The act of it all was exhilarating both inside and out. Mentally and physically. The ability to stimulate your innermost places while doing something you know is wrong, yet exciting, only makes the experience that much better.

Soooo Backseat Bumping… will I do it again? Most Definitely!!! I’m curious as to what maneuvers and positions can occur in such a confined space. Tricky… but I’ll take the challenge.

As for you… Here’s a fist pump and an ongoing chant “Go! Go! GO!” If you’ve done it, do it again. I encourage those that are just expanding their wings of sexuality to try it. Allow yourself to get caught up in that moment, throw all those cares right on the floor with your clothes and go for it! 

After giving some more thought to Dating and talking about it to a few friends,

I’ve talked to some men and discovered that men and women, like always, are on two different pages. Men feel that they want to get to know a woman before they take her on a date because they want to make sure they are investing in quality product and as such would love to just “kick it” at their house or a friends and talk over a beer. Well fellas, most women want you to make an investment before they even give you the time of day. We want to know that we’re investing our time into the right guy.

We all want something out of this, it’s give and take. I give you my number, you take me out, I give you a chance and you hope that after a while you get to take my clothes off.

Get it together!

I’ve spent the last four years in “quaint” little place called Columbia, MO. Not really a place people want to live when they grow up. In fact, its fame stems from the university and its beloved Tigers.

College days are stereotypically and traditionally filled with excessive amounts of alcohol, one night stands and sexcapades. You’d probably assume that a campus would have been a perfect opportunity to meet attractive members of the opposite sex close in age, pre-categorized, and in close proximity.

Unfortunately, what you may not realize is this setting does not leave room for actual dating. As students, we initially meet in a group atmosphere and afterwards we “kick it” or “hang out” in a group atmosphere. Once we realize that this is someone that we enjoy being around we take it to the only logical next level of… kicking it. Yep. That’s no mistake. We never really progress from that mindset of hangin out so we find ourselves in the guys apartment watching a movie or Family Guy over drinks. Before we know it, we’re in a relationship and we’ve never been on a real date.

I’m not saying that I’ve never gone out to dinner with the guy who I am in a relationship with. But that’s exactly what that is, dinner. You gotta eat, right? I’m talking about a DATE. Where he makes a plan, a reservation, something. Picks me up in “fancy” clothes. We eat dinner at a place that has a tablecloth or at least real silverware, all in the hopes of impressing me to the point that I’ll want to go out a second DATE.

A date is not a guy bringing chicken he picked up on the way to my house because he were hungry and just happened to remember that I might be hungry. The restaurant does not have a play place, a clown, or sporks. And puh-lease, I beg you men, LET ME DRESS UP!! I love any excuse to put on heels and a nice dress so let me. If we go on a “date” and you have on basketball shorts, sweat pants, or Nike flip-flops, don’t you dare call that a date.

Can we actually be “dating” if we aren’t “dating???”

Men, grab a chick flick or two for inspiration and take the woman your eyeing or in a relationship with out for real. She’ll appreciate it and you’ll earn all the points.

Promise.